I am at one week and counting. This time next week I'll be outtie.
I've found it difficult to come to terms with all the differing emotions flooding my system. It's such a mind farq, delightful excitment, worry, anticipation, not wanting to leave my friends, excited about meeting new friends, soooooo not wanting to abandon my rats and afraid that one or more may not be there when I get back (though to be fair, Nuka and Z are I think, more worried than I am about this one!). What if I'm totally bored over there? What if no one's nice to me (not likely but there you go, that's what worrying is all about). How do I get up to Carn? Where am I gonna stay? Three months seems at once the longest time in the world and so very very short.
I think also contributing to the anxeity is just the monumental task of gettting everything ready. Packing, cleaning, still trying to find a subletter, making sure all the finances are on order, doting on the rats before I leave them, trying to eat all the food in the fridge, life is hard.
Ideally I could just relax and let things come. That's what I'm trying to concentrate on lately. Due to other stress-inducing factors that have plauged me lately, life has been more up and down than usual. Well, no, just really more down than usual, and I'm trying to pull myself out of that mindset. So if I'm honest, the build-up to this trip isn't helping much! I keep almost convincing myself that I'm going to have a dreadful time, but I know it's just the nerves and sporadic sour mood talking.
Think positive, dammit! Focus on the joy.
2 comments:
I sincerely doubt that you would find yourself bored over there. You were always good at making your own fun. And if all else fails, write. Have you written any short stories lately? Any featuring the infamous Edmond Munroe?
So long as you know where your towel is.
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