Sunday, August 21, 2011

Dogs, Hurricanes and Solitude

So my family is away from the homestead for two weeks, and it's just me and the dogs. Oh and the hurricane. But the hurricane hasn't hit yet, so for now it's me and the dogs. The first 24 hours was rough. Neuf was the poster child for separation anxiety, and vomited twice, and between Jack, Neuf and the newbie, Ned, I probably ended up cleaning up about 6-8 pee puddles - one right on top of one of the vomit pools. To top it all off, we recently changed Ned's puppy food, so at 4 in the morning the poor guy was hit with a bout of diarrhea, and ended up having to take a fat, gooey dump on my bathroom rug. Luckily after that first 24 hours, everything seems to have calmed down.
I find that I'm really enjoying this solitude. Due to the path my life has followed, I've led something of an extroverted life. Especially in the past few years, I've really forced myself to get out and be social, when in reality, I'm really I big ol' homebody. I like people, I like talking and getting to know folks, but when it comes down to it - I'm so much happier not having to chat and be social. My brother-in-law keeps mentioning how I must feel so trapped here, and forced to live on their schedule, which includes early, early mornings and not a lot of social time. I keep assuring him that it actually fits in quite nicely with my lifestyle. I wouldn't necessarily call myself a morning person, but I do like waking up when the sun comes up and going to bed soon after the sun has gone down. It seems very in tune with the world's rhythms. There are times when I get into the swing of staying up until 2am and sleeping in, but I guess I just adapt to my situation.
One very nice thing about this solitude is that I've been able to record a lot of my songs. I always feel nervous singing when other people are in hearing distance - a fear that proved itself valid after my sister said some things about my singing that, I'm sure were meant to be helpful, but just ended up being hurtful. So it's nice to have everyone away so that I can feel free to experiment and not be worried about being overheard. I'm continually surprised when I play back the songs I recorded... I actually LIKE them. I like the sound of my voice - and those of you who know me know that's a HUGE step for me. For those of you who don't know me, well, I've battled all my life with the "I can't sing" complex, so to finally be producing something I can listen to and enjoy is awesome. Plus, I live being a songwriter. I've said to people before - I've been a poet for years, but now that I can play the guitar I write songs. In my experience, people are A LOT more open to hearing a song than they are to listening to a poem! It's so nice when you can be so proud of something you've made.

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