Level Up!

So I'm a week into my solitude, the family left a week ago and it's just been me and the dogs. I thought I'd been going nuts at this point, but I actually kind of like it. I have this huge house all to myself - yeah, this solitude suits me. Heh, I did have one visitor - some random guy stopped by to fix the internet. I wasn't going to let him in, but he had the Claro (the company name) truck and badge and outfit and showed me the work order with Dave's info on it, so I let him in. He spent the next 30 minutes

A) Fixing the internet

and

B) Trying to get me to go on a date with him

Now, mind you, he spoke NO English, and I speak incredibly bad Spanish. He was not going let something as pithy as no common language stand in his way though! I just wanted to sink to my knees and scream, "I'm a lesbian! Just leave me alone!" I know it's a silly thing to complain about, but I'm so sick of feeling like a seal swimming in a sea of sharks whenever I go out (and now, apparently, even when I'm home). Every time I go out, almost everyone just stares and stares at me. It's like the women are thinking, "what the hell are you doing here, gringa?" and the men are thinking, "what the hell are you doing here, gringa? And is there any chance I can fuck you?" It's like they have radar - "Attention! A cute, white, single, American girl is approaching! Maybe you can marry her and go live in the US, and if not, at least maybe you can get her in bed!" No wonder I like this solitude!

My other great story goes like this - so I've been having some GI issues (not army men, my stomach) so my sister scheduled an appointment with a specialist. I went to see him, and he told me he was going to have me get a CAT scan and some blood work. So I go to the front desk and they just look at me like I'm a virus. So I mention that the doctor said I needed the scan and the blood tests, and they're like, "so?"

Me - "well, um, where do I get those done?"

Receptionist - "here"

Me - "like this office?"

Receptionist (looking at me like I just crawled out of the primordial ooze) - "No. The blood work you can have done downstairs, the CAT scan you have to have elsewhere."

Me - "Oh, ok. Can you recommend a place?"

Receptionist (writes down a list of three places) - "You HAVE to get it done at one of these three places."

This is how things go in the DR, it's like they fuck with you on purpose. It's like a computer game; you have to ask all the right questions, and only when you've done that and jumped through the hoops can you advance to the next level. But wait! It gets better. I schedule a CAT scan, but between the blood work and the CAT scan it's going to be more cash than I had (I guess according to Joan, you NEVER want to use a credit card here) so I scheme a plan where I go to the US Embassy (there's a bank there you can get money at), then go to the clinic to get the blood work done. There's one particular test that I needed to bring with me to the CAT scan, so I needed to get it done before the CAT scan (which is today) but not more than three days in advance, so I decided that Tuesday would be a good day to do it. Well Tuesday comes and I go to the Embassy, only to find that the bank is closed because there's a "hurricane," which here in Santo Domingo resulted in some grey, Seattle winter-like drizzle (only warmer). Any excuse to not go in to work... So, ok, at least I had enough money for the blood work, I could still get that done. The day I had the initial consultation with the GI doctor, I went down to the clinic and asked how much the blood work would cost. They looked over the tests and gave me a price. (A very pricey price, actually.) So I get to the clinic and show them the list of tests that need to be done, and the woman asks, "oh, have you eaten breakfast today?" And I'm like, "yeah." And she says, "well some of these tests can't be done unless you have an empty stomach. You need to come back on a day when you haven't eaten breakfast." Cue head hitting the counter. Also cue a slight panic since one of the tests I NEEDED for the CAT scan two days later. So luckily that test doesn't have to be done on an empty stomach. Ok, so I ask to just have that one done. The woman takes the blood sample, and I ask when the results will be ready. "Three days." She says. Cue more panic, I explain to her again that the CAT scan is in two days, and I need to bring the results with me. Finally she understands what I'm trying to explain and is able to do a rush on it. All of this done in my horrible, pidgin Spanish. Nothing like the deep end to help teach you to swim.